“Twisted roads from then to now seems to be all I can think about. Have I gained the ground I feel I lost?” No…
“So where am I now? In what place do I feel safe these days?”
“All people on the outside prodding and poking, asking me to fill in forms upon forms rating aspects of my life, situation and lucidity or there about’s. Showing me Graphs and circular models of the scores my answers gave and the best course to reality”
“Lines, lines on a laptop and crumpled up paper with messy handwriting indicating all the different issues and there level of severity in ones life. Questions of directions and consuming thoughts leading me in loops and making me feel smaller than ever…”
“There I go again, taking the worst of the worst and making it catastrophic where not needed. Many times I feel the pull back to the dark and just accepting that my life is what it is, not needed.”
Only some of the thoughts and feelings I battled with over the first part of this year, BUT with determination, hard work and having hope. I have “gained”. I have time to think and do things without my inside existence screaming for help…
I have been at low dark points along the way and I’m sure you or someone you know has been there too, unable to dream or wonder about having some sort of eternal peace within destroyed me. In no time at all…. months of work gone. I created strenuous situations one after another, I felt it was never going to end.
But after opening up and with the support from all the “intrusive people” I learned to have hope and set goals for myself slowly suffocating my anxious self.
It’s been a W.H.I.L.E but I will get back into it and keep going…
With Hope I Live Eternal
Stay Lucid people
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